CarSim

  I am horrible at dieting!!!!!  How is it that when I was skinny I could diet like a madwoman?.  Food should not have this much control.  I keep meaning to start writing it all down, but then I cheat and don’t write.  I should not be this heavy. 

   My husband and I were in a diet contest with his mother and sister that ended in December, I am now 18lbs up from that ending weight.  That seems so wrong!  I know my eating is a bit much, but I have been going to the gym religiously for a month now (working out about 35 min cardio and lifting weights), so maybe I should find a praciticioner and schedule a physical as well.

  To get ready for that I will, WILL, write everything I eat and post in food log.  I know that would be one question any doctor would ask right away before looking into an actual medical problem.

    I know everything I should about dieting and exercising.  I was healthy and in shape for 22 years, why can’t I do it now????

  Today is my first day on Buddyslim but I’ve been thinking about blogging as a weight loss tool for a while now.  I think I definitely need accountability.  My husband is wonderful, but I think he is torn between supporting weight loss effort by questioning my diet and wanting to show that he loves me at whatever weight.  All the more reason I should lose weight -it’s an issue I can take out of meal times and snack times.  My kids are still young, I hate to think of them being embarassed of me when they get older (I know it is wrong to be embarassed of a fat relative–but kids are kids and might be).  Also, my husband and I purposely had children young so that we could be the young “cool” parents, better work on looks because we are probably more strict that most other parents I know.

  I never had a weight problem until I got pregnant (sure, as a teenager I thought I did–anytime I went over 110lbs!!!!).  I actually had hyperemesis (throwing up sometimes 20+ times a day) so I didn’t gain too much while pregnant.  Immediately once you have the baby, all the nausea goes away -it’s completely crazy.  I REALLY gained weight when I realized that food tasted good to me again.  And how much I missed it.

   Then I got pregnant with my second child when my first was only 9 months (yes, on purpose).  More throwing up leading to more weight gain when it stopped.

   Anyway, here I am now and my oldest is 4 years old.  I’ve been trying to lose weight for that long.  Too long.  Hopefully using blogging as a tool will help.